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Posts Tagged ‘Trust’

It stares at me with evil eyes.

 

I avoid it at best I can; put it off, decide I’m too busy now, but I know I can’t avoid it. (more…)

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The feeling didn’t start till 8th grade; The feeling that I could be doing more. I had stopped doing ballet the year before and suddenly a light bulb of realization turned on.

First I looked back and saw all the days of practicing since kindergarten hadn’t been filled with as much purpose as I thought. Oh yes, I loved ballet, (still do) but it didn’t seem to fulfill the inner goal in my heart. It was sort of like a long passage of description at the beginning of a book. Sure it may be interesting enough , but it does nothing to move the story along. (more…)

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You know what drives me crazy? unanswered questions. If they hang unanswered long enough, I start not even caring what the answer is. I just want the puzzle to be complete. The story to be finished.

I Want the Answers. (more…)

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It’s a risk to do a lot of things.

I don’t like taking risks.

I like knowing all my options and if I have to do something about it, I’ll pick the path of least risk. Better safe than sorry and all that.

Problem: The path of least risk is not always where God wants you. (more…)

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I’ve been having a struggle lately. I don’t want to get one the balance beam.

Why God, why? I don’t want to do as he says. So I make up excuses…

Because I need to focus on my school,

because I’m an introvert, not much of a talker,

because it’s too uncomfortable,

(God wouldn’t have us do the uncomfortable, would he?) (more…)

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Okay, I know that faith is not by works, but just as a disease causes symptoms, I think God has placed many things on my heart to do.

Problem: I don’t always do them. (more…)

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Hat’s weren’t the only thing flying up Friday. As I looked at my sister it hit me. Two more years and that will be me. Now this sounds selfish, considering it’s my sisters graduation. The last thing I should be doing is thinking of myself. I make the excuse of course that she’s not moving away. (she’s staying in our house for the next two years, then she’s transferring to the collage of her choice.)
Anyway, it scares me. I have almost no idea what I’m going to do. My sister knows EXACTLY what she’s going to do after college, (just not how she’s going to do it). I only a vague idea.

I want to be a writer.

The most secure job in the world, right? (LOL) I don’t even know what kind of writer. I know the verse: “Trust is the Lord with all your heart…” but I have problems with teetering. You see….

I’m a pessimistic optimist.

I think I like the way Alice Herz Sommer worded it:

“I look where it is good. I know about the bad, but I look at the good things.”

it ‘s still HARD. I know it comes more easily to me than some of my friends, but it’s still hard.
Saturday night I met a former writing teacher, who writes professionally, at my sister’s graduation. As this school year was starting, she had graciously offered to look over a novel I wrote. 130 pages; and yes she’s a teacher. Needless to say, I told her she could take her sweet time on it. She told me she had it done and we needed to find time to meet.
I nodded and smiled as if I look forward to it, but a little voice inside me dreads the encounter. This isn’t because I’m afraid she’ll criticize my work. I know she’ll criticize my work. I’m scared that my uncontrollable/annoying/sensitive side will burst into tears during the discussion. If it was up to me Lord, I wouldn’t such a sensitive spirit, but I know He has His reasons….might not be what I would choose.

To be frank, life is Scary.

I’m no worry wart, (okay well most of the time) but I sometimes close my eye and think, my oh my. Really, does God expect to do it on my own? Then I laugh. nope.

I expect to do it on my own.

In truth, God has His hand on the future and the present. Looking to the future too much will bring worry. God wants us to look to the present. After all it is the only thing we can be used in. By the time tomorrow is here, it will no longer be tomorrow, but the present. God has been teaching this a lot lately:
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? …. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
~Matt 6:27,34

God has other plans

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.'” ~Jeremiah 29:11

Growing up in a Christian home, this verse has become another ‘happily ever after verse’. I convince myself that I believe it because I hear it. Believe is more than listening. Believing is listening hard then acting on words despite what anyone else says.
I know God has plans for me. He has plans for everyone. The possibilities are endless, but only one thing is necessary

I chose it.

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