Archive for April, 2012

A Promise

This week I:
-Got a sore throat
-Got a stuffy nose
-Had little sleep
-Talked in front of 74 other kids (most strangers)
-Spoke to strangers
-Walked in the cold (I mean see your breath cold)

-Walked in flats (I was lucky, some whore heels) almost all day.

-Wore a suit almost all day (With a skirt :))
-Had to face doubt
-Had to face fear
-Had to think and remember
-Had to be honest…
but guess what?

This was the BEST week of my life. (more…)


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I Give Up

I feel I could fly….

Freedom. There’s no other word for it. While my public school friends have more weeks of school, I’m free (almost. Math :P).
Today was a day of testing; The nervous pencils scribbling; Glancing at notes. Suddenly you become no more than facts.

  • The eighteenth amendment gives women the right to vote.
  • Democritus developed the atom theory, originally thinking even our souls were made of atoms. (more…)

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I’ve been learning what it means to be a girl or woman. The world tells me I have to be as tough as a guy, as fast as a guy, and to dress as a guy.

Easter Sunday, (aside from a very close friend) all my girl friends were wearing jeans. I felt a little out of place in my long (not to mention old fashion) (more…)

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Easter Morning…

Yes, I got up early…to sing. I wonder (more…)

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The Storm

The rain of yesterday…

The sun of today…

The tasks of today, piled on my “desk”.

It’s funny how fast things pile up.

Biology reading,

philosophy projects,

math lessons (Ugh, the math lessons) all begging to be done. In all the lists of yesterday, I missed my quiet time.

On “Good Friday”, of all days.

Do I spend so much time getting everything ready for the day He rises that we forget what is necessary? If I am tempted and put my precious time with him down even one spot on my list, what have I to help me with the first task? If I am not focused on Jesus what have I to focus on?

The wind and the waves?

                Is it not my human nature that if I do not focus on him, I focus on the dragging, nagging and gray rain?  I have often thought of myself as a pessimistic optimist. There is no such thing as a pure optimist. Even if I do not speak my fears, my pain, my anger and my sins out loud, they are still there…

And He stilled died for them.

                Do yourself a favor…

Find a quiet place (even if it’s the car outside) open you bible, (to anywhere) and read.

My I suggest Luke 10 or Matthew 14?

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” ~Matthew 5:6

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Your Best

To many deadlines on papers to meet. I’ll write more tomorrow, but for now an old poem of mine:

Your Best

If you try your best

Then try again

If you start at the beginning

And hold on till the end

If you reach and stretch

As far as you can bend

Then you have done well my friend

A. GraceS.

P. S. Question: When was the last lime you found it hard to do your best?

Trying to answer that question for myself right now.

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Frustration. Stress. Discouragement.

I sometimes wonder if just thinking about those words brings on their effects.

I start focus on one school subject first (philosophy paper. love/hate relationship). Our internet never seems to work. With two research papers due tomorrow, who can blame me when I tighten my jaw and groan.

It works for 15 minutes…

then stops.

It takes another 30 minutes to make it work again.

I groan and switch pages. Why won’t God help me when I’m trying to focus? (I usually am in and out all day, making up stories in my head) Can’t he make the internet work?

Then the thought hit me. You impatient little girl. How could I not see? I’m lucky to even have internet. What does it matter that it lasts in random moments. Are we not more thankful for something that we must wait for, watch for? Is it not more precious when it is unexpected?

I see I’ve grown a habit of looking at it the wrong way. To think people used to have Ice cream more rarely, to own our own carriage was special and seeing a moving picture…not that was special.

Can we not look at what we have today with the same child-like awe? or must we look at everything as ordinary, slow, babyish, and something that ‘just happens.” Lord let me change my words to special, Your timing, and an idea, no matter how small.

I soon give up and look at the material that I already have. I take it, organize it and realize that if I have gotten more material I would have had too much to sift through.

His timing.

His intelligence…greater than my own.

I may not have gotten all the things I had on my list today, but that’s okay. (Maybe I’ll use some of the reading homework to wind me down tonight.)

Another sunset.

🙂 This is the Stuff a former Florida girl.

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